Thursday, March 12, 2009


OK, SO i sent a letter today to Bryan saying that I was done with him. He has messed with my heart so much that I cxannot take it anymore. I just wish that I never had the experience of love with him. My life was sort of ruined in many ways by him and he doesn't even care. My friend messaged him after I gave him the letter and he was fine and was not effected by it at all. He is such a pain in the ass and I feel so free that I am over him! You have no idea how great this feels to finally be free of the person who was holding you down. Seeing them almost everyday kiss another person. I was happy knowing he was happy. I was sacrificing my own happiness for him and it made it all worth it to see him happy. But when he starts to lead me on everytime we hang out it is just not fair. Everytime we hang out then leave, I feel like we are breaking up all over again. It just hurts so much. But I AM FREE!!!! I changed a lot in the last few hours. I changed my attitude about everything and I even look better! I don't look like a little used up girl anymore. Anyhow, today was amazing! I stayed the night over at Marleys last night and we had lots of fun, although we didnt go to bed until three in the morning. Then we woke up and six in the morning because we were going to just party all day long. Well I was up for about an hour when I passed back out for about three hours. Then we just kinda hung out and finger painted for a while. We didn't make a huge mess.WHen we went to my house we went down to the park and had a water war with cholo, steven, terrie, jacob, and alex. It was a lot of fun. I was completely dry because I was the one getting everyong wet. Then Steven dumped so much water on me! I am still wet!...I am leaving tomorrow at 4 in the morning for trek. I wont be on again until monday so I will blog how it went! Love you! bye!

1 comment:

  1. i'm glad it worked out. it feels so good to be free. I know how that bf of TWO WHOLE DANG MONTHS!!--woot! 2 months! yeah! *major sarcasm alert*--and yeah, so out of the blue, he started acting weird around me (as did friend of mine...idk..she's always acted kinda weird..around me...i can't trust her and she knows it) and then a few days passed and i convinced myself that it was all right and it would be okay. okay, yeah, well, it wasn't at first, cuz he broke up with me. but hey...i'm not even in Highschool yet. middle of middle school. yippeee! but i'm free now. and it feels SO GOOD. so good..

    i'm not suffocating anymore.
    i'm not drowning anymore.
    i'm not stuck anymore.
    i'm not lost anymore.

    but i will always love him.

    in a teeny tiny place in my heart.

    some would say crazy right?
    i say: no. it's just me. and it's not crazy. it's me.